Walmart Treats Their Employees Too Well

So, let me tell you about a trip to Walmart. Yes, I support the evil empire, the company that supposedly abuses its employees, refuses to give them lunch breaks etc.

Things started off well. For one, it wasn't nearly as crowded as it normally is. Maybe the protesters were taking effect? Considering its really the only grocery store within 15 miles, doubtful.

So, I start filling up the cart, and try to go down the aisle to obtain sustenance. Well, have you ever noticed no matter what time you go to Walmart, their is always somebody stocking the shelves? You would really think they would try to schedule it around less busy periods of time. So we come to a meeting in the middle of the aisle, sort of like the North bound Zak meeting the South bound Zak. Me. The Stocker. Me. The Stocker.

But instead of getting into the two-step shuffle of uber-courteousness and trying to get out of each other's ways, she just stands there and continues stocking, completely blocking off the precious bread aisle. Doesn't she realize their is a Hurricane coming? Dear sweet Jesus if I don't get that bread, blood will be on her can-stocking hands...

So, I fast-forward to the check-out, breadless and thinking of my impending demise at the hands of the confused storm, known as Fay. This is where I meet Steve, the register king. I guess his official title if cashier, but that just seem too effeminate to me. But to give you a mental image, Steve is about 5'7", 300 lbs, with shoulder length red hair, a goatee, and what appear to be safety glasses. I'll spare you the part about the pimples and what appears to be a total-body-rash covering him.

So me being the "rich" person that I am, begin offloading my entire cart of groceries. Hurricane or Tropical Storm be Damned! But instead of running the belt so I can add more groceries, he sits their, waiting for me to move the cart up to put my recently bagged groceries back into it. Here's a real quandary. What the hell do I do now? I still have groceries in my cart that need to be put up on the belt, but Steve isn't budging. Eventually after an eternity of awkward silence (I'm pretty sure Steve doesn't talk at this point) he begins running the belt, crushing the items on it.

Well, thankfully that alleviated that problem, but the physical act of scanning each item too forever. Literally, each move was slow, measured and imprecise. I felt like my essence of life was draining from me. Looking at Steve. Thinking about how anyone could end up in his predicament. I glance down at the payment pad. It asks me "Did your cashier greet you today?" Of course I want to mash the Hell No button, the Where the hell did you get this guy at button, or the Sweet Jesus I found Jack the Ripper button, but I'm always too afraid to. I never know if they have some sort of secret sensor behind their counter that alerts them if you select no, and set of a mass retaliation of multiple scans of the same item and crushing my eggs and grapes.

So I wait, and wait, and wait. Almost half done. Great. I look at the keypad again. Dear Lord I want to write a full review on this employee and mail it to Sam Walton through the keypad. Slowly he trudges along, scanning and bagging the last of the items.

On the the coupons. Yes, I'm not ashamed to admit it. I use coupons. Why not. Hell, I'll take a few bucks off the trip. Anyway, he scans a few of them, and one just won't register. He looks at the coupon, looks at the scanner and tries to rescan it. Nothing. No luck. No friendly "Yeah that coupons good here" beep. He repeats the order: Look at the coupon, look at the scanner and rescan. Again, Again, Again. Nothing. By this point he is lost in total concentration at the coupon and I'm beginning to feel individual brain cells die at a rapid pace.

Finally, he speaks. "You get this" he says pointing at the coupon. "Uh, no actually I didn't, my bad". It was one of those coupons with the fine print that gave me a whopping $.25 off any 5, but of course since I didn't bring my Captain Marvel Secret Decoder Ring, I wasn't able to decipher the terms of the offer, thereby voiding the coupon code.

So, here is where I come to the conclusion, that Walmart treats their employees too well. Now, it would be different if this was a one time occurrence, but it happens just about every time I go to a Walmart. Someone needs to instill the fear of God into these people. Someone needs to start cracking the whip up in here. Someone needs to start doing their job and supervise. Walmart really can't be that bad of a place to work if you can just function like a toad and still be successful at it.

So if you're listening good ole Sam Walton, start dropping the other shoe on those employees!

After all, the customer is always right!