22 August 2008
In an effort to better serve the ever growing readership of this blog, I've decided to launch a dedicated morning update: Napalm in the Morning. Be on the lookout for it daily, providing you with the current, latest and greatest to get your day off on the right foot (or hand depending on how sober you are when you wake up and read this in the morning.)
So, in grand style, let me be the first to announce, I have come upon credible, inside evidence that Senator and Presidential Barrack Hussein Obama has made his selection for Vice Presidential nominee for 2008.
Barrack Obama hopes to make a Clean Sweep, adding Billy Mays to the ticket, which has his supporters viewing the move as an awesome auger, in a move that is sure to anger Clinton supporters. After all, this wouldn't be the first time Mays stepped up to the plate to hype an overpriced, cheap product.
"Billy Mays has made a living off of cleaning up other peoples messes. Because of this, I felt it was time, in the interest of hope and change, that a real expert be brought in to do so with America." stated Obama, possibly referencing the fact that Mays has more experience in politics than he.
"He's solved the experience issue and has brought in an all around likable guy that is sure to bring everyone together in hope and change" stated an Obama spokesman. "Hillary has Bill, Mays has Bam Wow. There's no comparing the two" stated Lorena Sanchez, a hotel maid from Waco, TX.
There is no word yet on wether or not Mays will have his own whip team at the convention, however speculation is growing that for three easy payments of $19.95, John Edwards staffers may be able to fill the role.
You heard it here first!